See the USA...

Inspired by this story on the radio program Weekend America and memories of childhood family road trips in the family station wagon, I thought to myself, what US state parks would you want to spend your family summer vacations at?:

• Big Bone Lick State Park, Kentucky:
  • Located in in Boone County, on Beaver Road between the communities of Beaverlick and Rabbit Hash. The park's name is a translation of the original Shawnee Indian name, referring to the salt licks which drew mammoths, mastodons, musk oxen, giant sloths, and other Ice Age mammals whose bones were found here. Though the bones that paleontologists and fossil hunters found of the dead giant mammals have been carted off to museums and collectors, you can still find the not-dead-yet mammals of the park's buffalo herd. Official site - Wikipedia article - Google Maps.

• Double Trouble State Park, New Jersey:
  • Located in Ocean County and once the company town for the Double Trouble Company (which produced timber and cranberries), this park is part of New Jersey's Pine Barrens, and features a historic village and sawmill. The name probably comes from the park's dam, after spring rains washed it out twice in one season, or, according the the New Jersey Parks and Forestry Division, may have involved "local muskrats that persisted in gnawing at the dam, which caused frequent leaks. Such leaks gave rise to the alarm 'Here's trouble', upon which workmen would rush to repair the leak. One day two breaks were discovered and one worker overheard the shout 'Here's double trouble'." Whatever the reason, when you please don't cause any, well, you know... Official site - Wikipedia article - Google Maps.

• Gay City State Park, Connecticut:
  • Located in central Connecticut, the 1500-acre (600-ha) park is on the site of the milltown of Gay City, defunct since the Civil War. The original name came from the religious sect that founded the community in 1796. To quote the official website, "The Gays soon comprised the majority of the 25 or more families who then lived in the community. The residents kept strictly to themselves, existing as distinctly separate from the neighboring communities." Nothing remains of the town but building foundations, so modern visitors' gay old time can be had by picnicking, fishing, hiking, and swimming. Official site - Wikipedia article - Google Maps.

• Ha Ha Tonka State Park, Missouri:
  • Located in the rugged hills south of Lake of the Ozarks in Camden County, near such central Missouri communities as Roach, Knobby, Passover, Climax Springs, Wet Glaize, and Hurricane Deck, this park features 15 miles (24 km) of hiking trails, sinkholes, caves, and the ruins of a 4-story turn-of-the-20th century stone mansion sitting atop a 250-foot (80-meter) bluff. The name "Ha Ha Tonka" allegedly comes from the Osage Indian for "Laughing Waters" -- though for all I know that actually translates as "Laughable Toy Truck". Official site - Wikipedia article - Google Maps.

• Hungry Mother State Park, Virginia:
  • This CCC park in southwestern Smyth County offers swimming, camping, cabin rentals, boat rentals, hiking, and -- thank goodness -- a restaurant. A name derived from an anti-Indian legend, wherein supposedly the sole survivor of an Indian massacre, a very small child, was found here, uttering the only words the child could utter Of course, nothing I found could even name the GENDER of said child, so believe it if you will. Also the home of a conference site called Hemlock Haven, which is probably best avoided as bookings for meetings of Greek philosophers.  Official site - Wikipedia article - Google Maps.

• Kodachrome Basin State Park, Utah:
  • Yes, it IS a colorful place in southern Kane County, just east of Bryce Canyon National Park, with 4,000 acres (1,600 ha) of canyons and sandstone chimneys, and no, it's not a modern bit of product placement since a) it was named in 1948 by the National Geographic Society, a heavy customer of the product in question; and b) who uses Kodachrome film these days, anyways? (Well, okay, I do and the National Geographic Society probably does, but then, we're old-fashioned). At least it hasn't yet led to more corporate or vanity park namings.  Official site - Wikipedia article - Google Maps.

• Donald J. Trump State Park, New York:
  • Whoops, spoke too soon. Two parcels totaling 436 acres (176 ha) in the tony 'burbs of New York, comprising land donated last year by some New York City businessman whose name escapes me for the moment. No official website, no facilities, not even any gold-plated Port-a-Potties: all there is at the moment are large signs in front and out at the exits on the Taconic State Parkway trumpeting the "park". - Complaints about the "park" - Wikipedia article - Google Maps.

• Possum Kingdom State Park, Texas:
  • West of Dallas/Fort Worth and on the shores of Possum Kingdom Reservoir, created in 1941 and whose flooding of the Possum Kingdom no doubt ended the world-threatening ambitions of the imperialistic dead-playing marsupials. Activities include camping, picnicking, hiking, biking, nature study, boating, lake swimming, fishing, and water skiing over the drowned opossum civilization. Despite the reservoir having "the clearest, bluest water in the southwest", you can't drink the water in the park, no doubt due to all the dead opossums in it. Official site - Wikipedia article - Google Maps.

• Roman Nose Resort Park, Oklahoma:
  • Formerly a Cheyenne winter campground, this state resort is named after a Cheyenne warrior who fought against the white settlers and was killed in 1868. Now visitors can honor his memory at the 650-acre (263-ha) park with activities such as camping, canoeing, horseback riding -- and golfing at the attached 18-hole golf course (par 70, and watch out for the sixth hole). Sure, Roman Nose may have been a brave and fierce warrior, but what kind of handicap did he have, hmm? Official site - Google Maps.

• Worlds End State Park, Pennsylvania:
  
  • When you really have to get away from it all, going about as far away as you can get -- at least according to the people of the Commonwealth of Pennsylvania. And I thought you'd have to go to all the way to China -- or at least Texas -- to do that. This 780-acre (315-ha) slice of the end of the world doesn't have a lookout into The Abyss as you might expect, but does have hiking, sightseeing, and camping. Official site - Wikipedia article - Google Maps.